


Food For Thought

by chibimono



Series: Policy Prohibits Fraternization [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Blackwatch, Blood, Bureaucracy, Canon-Typical Violence, Date not date, Established Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of Sex, Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Papa Reyes, Pining, Politics, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Undefined Relationship, Vague Medical Procedures, it's complicated - Freeform, ruined love confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibimono/pseuds/chibimono
Summary: After months and months of work fighting Talon and juggling UN bureaucracy, Jack just wants to have a nice, normal dinner with Gabriel. And maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to do something about these feelings he's got for his best friend while he's at it.





	Food For Thought

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsheRhyder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsheRhyder/gifts).



> For the 2017 Slashorific fest, with the prompt: an image of a table set for fine dining.  
> Thanks to the mods for allowing an extension so I could finish this. And thank you to Ashe Rhyder for cheering me on, beta’ing for me, and giving me a title and summary for this. Seriously, thank you for holding my hand, Ashe. I probably would’ve just given up on this without your poking and cheering.
> 
> This is set in my “Policy Prohibits Fraternization” universe, specifically the beginning of the downward spiral that leads to the Zürich explosion.  
> I don't have a great deal of understanding of how the UN works. I read a few Wikipedia articles to get an idea, and then I made up the rest.

A low chime drew Jack's attention away from the monotony of last month's medical expense report. He'll have to reread the whole section to remember where he left off, but anything was a welcome break at the moment. "Go ahead, ATHENA," he answered with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes. 

"Commander Reyes is reporting in, sir. Shall I connect him?"

"Please," Jack said, maybe a little too eagerly, dropping the tablet in his haste to stand. He straightened his jacket and ran a hand through his hair as he paced to lean on the front of his desk, putting him at a more intimate distance for the holoscreen. The thumbnail in the corner showed the camera capturing him from the chest up. It wasn't exactly professional, but it had been weeks-- _months_ \--and Jack was going to take every bit of sweet contact he could get.

The line connected and Gabriel, with shadows under his eyes and a pinched pout of frustration, filled a small square at the top corner of his holoscreen. The tablet he was calling from only caught his shoulders and face, but Jack could read the tension and exhaustion in those beautiful features from a mile away. Jack knew the moment his own image showed on Gabriel's screen because his eyes softened and his mouth relaxed into a faint curl of a smile.

"What have you got for me, Commander?" Jack asked, unable to keep his own smile under wraps. 

Gabriel hummed a little laugh. "No 'hello'? No 'how are you'? What, you lose all your manners while I've been gone?"

"I thought that, maybe, the quicker this check went, the sooner you could get back to work and get back home?"

Tilting his head thoughtfully, Gabriel gave a shrug, making his image shift a bit with the movement. "Interrogations should be wrapped up in a few hours. I can touch down in Zürich in little over 24 hours."

"I'll be leaving for New York in," Jack checked his watch, "two hours for a meeting with Petras at UNHQ, so you'll probably want to reroute. Besides, I'm pretty sure Petras is going to want to be read in on this. Biggest hit we've managed to deliver to Talon yet. Something you should be proud of, I think."

Gabriel frowned. "Petras _has_ been read in. He called in through official UN channels and everything to get to me, nearly compromised the whole op. We would've been home two weeks ago, otherwise."

"The last update claimed a setback, with no other details," Jack said. "I didn't know he was the interference."

"I figured he would've contacted you about it. Apologize, maybe. Ask about protocol..." Gabriel scratched at what was closer to a full beard than his usual style, his eyes narrowing in thought. Jack knew that look well; something wasn't adding up. "Guy should know, though, right? You don't get Admiral in the Hellenic Navy without some idea of protocol."

Jack shrugged. "We'll discuss it in the debrief. Bring Gérard with you. Your boys get two weeks leave once they hit base. Your’s'll start after your debrief. Oh, and..." Jack always feels embarrassed, a little bit naughty, discussing his free time with Gabriel over official lines. This... _thing_ that floated between them all these years had been a closely guarded secret. They were been careful, but sometimes they had to use public and official communications for contact, meaning they had to watch what they say. "I've got 36 hours of leave coming up. It'll probably coincide with your two weeks, if you're staying in New York?"

"Oh man, 36 hours? Big time vacation!" Gabriel laughed. "You got plans?"

"I was thinking of going out for dinner? Suit and tie. Steak and wine. Then... sleep it off with some movies in bed?"

Gabriel's smile was slow and dangerous, especially with his dark eyes looking up at Jack through those long lashes. Shit, a man like Gabriel Reyes, intrepid and dangerously confident, shouldn't be able to pull off a coy look, and yet here he was. Jack's face felt impossibly hot. "That sounds kinda lonely, Butterbread."

 _It won't be with you_ , Jack thought, biting his cheek against saying it. It's been too long since they talked, since they've been in the same room physically, since they had privacy. He needed to keep his brain-to-mouth filter in place, his skin-hunger in check for a little longer. So instead, he said, "It's not as bad as you'd think. See you in New York." He cut the transmission and just breathed through the coiled need in his belly.

++++++++++

"You've known him for twenty-something years, Jack. If he hasn't said anything, don't you think you should?" Ana asked, standing over his duffle to refold the clothing he'd tossed into it. They were supposed to be discussing the priorities Jack will be handing off to her for his leave, but she decided to focus on his personal life instead.

"Maybe he just hasn't felt the same, so he hasn't needed to say it," Jack shot back. He dug around in his closet, searching for his suits. All he managed to find were his Overwatch Dress Blues and a stylishly cut suit in Overwatch blue. He held them up for Ana to peruse.

"Jack, you're an idiot," Ana said, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of his opinion or his clothing. "He does feel the same, and you know it. He's probably been too afraid to say, just like you have. And you can _not_ go out in public in _blue_ and expect people not to recognize you. The attention will ruin your _date_." Ah, both.

"I don't know what I have in my New York closet," Jack said, thinking aloud. He should have another set of Dress Blues and a black suit, but he couldn't remember if that was the one he ripped when Gabriel tried tangling him up to pin his arms behind his back last time they were both at the apartment. Jack knew his face was getting hot.

Ana shook her head. "I don't want to know," she said. She made him hang his suits back up. "Get something in New York. If you give yourself some time to go look before the meeting, maybe you can have it altered and ready by dinner. You know if you just pick from the rack, Gabriel will tell right off."

"I know," Jack whined with a roll of his eyes.

"And tell him how you feel!"

"I _know_!" 

"If the two of you could put as much effort in the communication skills for your relationship as you two put in to save the world..." Ana shook her head, smiling. "But you're both American men. I suppose the emotional constipation comes with the territory."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks," he said, his sarcasm dished out with an unimpressed look as he zipped up his full duffle.

"Now go," she waved him off with an imperial flick of her wrist. "The sooner things are done with Petras, the sooner you can confess your heart."

She made it sound so easy.

++++++++++

He was given a few hours to deal with jetlag and settle into the apartment housing the UN provided for Overwatch. Ana, Gabe, and Jack each had their own bedroom in a shared penthouse overlooking the UN building. For as often as the three of them needed to report in, it was nice to have a permanent place so close. Jack checked his closet, and sure enough, his black suit jacket had burst along the seams in several places. He chuckled ruefully at the waste of a suit tossed hastily on the floor of his closet and the lack of time to take care of the lingering desires it recalled.

He headed down to the closest shop recommended by a UN staffer and ended up buying a suit off the rack from their Big & Tall selection. It was very stylish and the classic black looked good on him. The measurements weren't that far off that it would need much altering, so Jack bought a white shirt and black tie to match the suit and called it done.

His meetings with Petras started late afternoon and they were long. Recently sworn in as the Under-Secretary-General of Peacekeeping Operations, Vasili Petras was still feeling his way through his position as Director of the DoPK, of which Overwatch was a large division. Previous Under-Secretaries would at least spend three to six months with the new one even after their four year term was over, to show them the ropes. Petras seemed to have waived his predecessor off to barrel through on his own. 

He had Jack lead him through Overwatch's associations with the other Under-Secretaries and Special Envoys, but it felt eerily like Petras was walking Jack like a showdog on a leash instead. Jack knew all these people, many well into their 4 year terms and spoke with Jack on first-name basis, and he knew every project and mission that overlapped between their departments and Overwatch. Yet Petras would shut Jack down and defer to the other Under-Secretary. They were meeting in groups of fours and fives, and Jack could see the other officials felt uncomfortable for him as it happened more than once.

Petras seemed like he could be a nice man, charming but stern. Jack would have liked to work with him during his time as an admiral for the Hellenic Navy, but this was a blatant show of power, insisting that the other members of the UN know that he was now in control of Overwatch. Jack bit his tongue and kept his breathing calm until they adjourned for the night, taking out his frustrations on a heavy bag in the housing gym.

When Jack woke the next morning, he felt a little refreshed and calmer about things knowing that Gabriel would be joining him soon. He had no messages waiting for him, not even an update of ETA from Gabriel, so he headed into the UN HQ at the assigned time and checked in with Petras' assistant.

"Ah, the Director is in a meeting with Commander Reyes and Lieutenant Lacroix at the moment--"

Jack didn't bother to let the man finish, indignation fueling him to shove past the assistant and yank open the door to the meeting room. Gérard stood before the holoscreen on the wall, pointing out significant areas on a model of Shimadagumi's fortress in Hanamura, Japan. He stalled with Jack's entrance, allowing Gabriel and Petras to swivel their chairs to look back at Jack.

"I see you've finally decided to join us," Petras said, his tone edged enough to sound like a father scolding a child.

The comment stunned Jack, his mouth opening for nothing to come out. In the length of a breath, he felt his temper flash from annoyed to spiking through the roof. Petras swiped his debrief right from under him and had the gall to try chastening him? 

Gabriel shifted in his seat, the motion catching Jack's eye on long familiar instinct. _Tensions high, look to Gabe for the play_. His dark eyes flicked from Jack to Petras, a hand rubbing at the bearded underside of his chin, before settling his attention on Gérard, turning his chair back to the holoscreen. "Start from the beginning, Lieutenant," Gabriel said, smooth and easy, taking control of the room in his own hands.

Gérard leveled an exasperated look from Gabriel to Jack, probably trying to bite back some smartass comment about starting over. After a moment of mental backtracking, Gérard began again at the top, laying out their mission to gain ground against the Shimadagumi by seizing their property in Hanamura and detaining the Talon agents found on the premises.

Refusing to look to Petras for his reaction, Jack took a seat beside Gabriel and swiveled toward the screen as well, getting a good view of the back of Gabriel's head and shoulders in the process. He tried to focus on the report being given, but his anger sat at a simmer in his veins, bitterly clinging to the outrage of being treated like a child and having his knowledge and control undermined by a complete novice. Almost as if he could feel the heat of Jack's ire, Gabriel turned his head in Petras' direction, the familiar calculating look in his eyes. At least that made Jack calm, knowing Gabriel was finding this unprecedented for a UN official, too.

Since Gérard was Overwatch's leading expert on Talon, the operation was his to plan and deploy, with Gabriel's Blackwatch team providing intel from behind enemy lines. Though Gabriel still held the higher rank, Gérard was trusted enough to call the shots on his own. The briefing was much the same, with Gérard leading the report and only minor comments made by Gabriel. 

It was just that... every time Gabriel spoke, or even shifted in his seat, it drew Jack's attention like a moth to a flame.

The full beard and the hair at his nape, grown just long enough to curl, painfully reminded Jack just how long he'd gone without Gabriel being close enough to touch. Jack remembered the night before Gabriel left for the mission, rubbing at the softness of Gabriel's hair, just then growing out of the closely shorn buzzcut. He remembered asking Gabriel to grow it out for him, telling Gabriel how much he liked the curls between his fingers when Gabriel had him pressed into the mattress. Jack's heart skipped at the thought he may have done it for Jack, going these months with his hair barely tamed under his beanie.

It was little things like that, that let Jack know Gabriel felt something for him. Even so, it made Jack worry that he was reading more into their... _relationship_. They were both workaholics with high international security clearances, so it wasn't like they could just go date, not without background checks and non-disclosure forms. Besides, from fighting a war to peacekeeping and politics, when would they find the time? After years of a close partnership and secretive trysts, they made it too easy for each other, never really needing to find anyone else. It sometimes seemed as if all they ever needed was each other.

The thing was, Jack knew it was love he felt; he knew it in his bones, and he felt it for a very long time. Ever since the early months of the Project: 76 program, when his tall, dark, and handsome bunkmate showed him his tender underbelly. Gabriel was a geek, a genius, a competent and compassionate leader. A kind teacher and a loyal confidant. Under a rugged and serious exterior, he carried a playfully dark sense of humor, swagger for days, and passion. So much tender passion. His stubbornness, his cold, righteous fury, his insistent bravado weren't even a turn off for Jack. If anything, they grounded Jack against his own stubbornness, fiery temper, and self-deprecating tendencies.

Jack smiled at the sight of Gabriel, felt like he was missing a limb while he was away, and some days it seemed like he needed Gabriel's presence just to breathe. After all these years, the yearning only grew, some days feeling like a gaping maw of need in his chest. Jack _knew_ it was love.

Yet, he wondered often if Gabriel felt the same. Felt something more than the comfort of friendship and the convenience of sex. Jack never brought it up, too worried it would make things awkward or lose Gabriel completely.

 _He's probably been too afraid to say, just like you have_. Ana might've had a point.

The three hour debrief ended with Petras rising to his feet and shaking Gérard and Gabriel's hands, congratulating them on the fine work they'd done. Jack was proud of them and the teams they put together for the mission. By taking the Shimadagumi out of the equation, Talon had one less avenue to spread their terror.

Surprisingly, Petras called a recess before further meetings would continue for Jack, allowing him time to give Gérard and Gabriel a proper dismissal for their two weeks of leave.

"Give Amélie our love," Jack told Gérard. "We miss her."

"Of course, of course," Gérard grinned, patting Jack's shoulder. "I'm sure she'll have much to tell me of her plans for the next dinner party. I've been away so long, who's birthday is next?"

"Torbjörn's, I think?" 

"We shall have to rent a dining hall to invite his whole family, no? I'll see you again in two weeks, Strike-Commander!"

That left him with Gabriel. Beautiful, dark-eyed Gabriel, leaning against the wall with his arms fold over his chest, watching Jack under lowered lashes.

"When does your free time start?" he asked, his body shifting from his lean to upright with all the grace of a large, predatory cat.

"After a few more meetings," Jack said as he stepped forward, skirting just the edge of appropriate for Gabriel's personal space. "It'll be sometime later this evening before I'm free."

Gabriel's smile is soft, just one side of his mouth turned up. "Good thing New York is the city that never sleeps."

Humming an agreement, Jack raised his hand to brush at the bruised exhaustion under Gabriel's eyes. He realized just as quickly that the move was too personal, too telling to any eyes that could be watching, and drew his hand back with an nervous huff. "You look like you could use some sleep," Jack said instead, fidgeting with straightening his uniform coat to keep his hands to himself.

His eyes tracked Jack's hands before returning to Jack's face. It was as if he wanted Jack to touch him. "Have a few things to do, but I could nap. Meet you for dinner?"

"If you don't mind being fancy," Jack smiled, "I don't mind treating."

Gabriel rubbed thoughtfully at the beard around his mouth before patting Jack's cheek with the same hand. Jack felt oddly as if he was just given a kiss on the cheek, sparking an excited flutter in his stomach at the thought. "Let me know when and where," Gabriel said, moving past Jack so their shoulders bumped gently, their arms brushed.

Jack couldn't help but turn and watch him go, just barely catching the little grin Gabriel threw over his shoulder as Jack tried to _subtlety_ admire Gabriel's retreating backside. Sometimes, it seemed as if Gabriel knew how much of a lovesick teenager Jack was for him.

++++++++++

Jack was mentally exhausted by the end of his day. Petras seemed oddly cowed by Gabriel's earlier show of control and let Jack go about the meetings with the other Under-Secretaries as he normally would. Still, Jack sat on edge, waiting for Petras to attempt another show of dominance. It never came.

When Jack returned to the penthouse that evening, it was dark and quiet. He expected Gabriel to be around, sleeping or waiting to greet him, ready to go with Jack's dinner plans. His bedroom door should have been open, even if he wasn't in it, but instead it was locked tight.

Jack unlocked his own room and contacted ATHENA to officially start his leave. He also called down to the penthouse's concierge to have them get reservations for two at one of the staff recommended restaurants for later that evening, with UN preferred seating if possible. The privacy would be appreciated if they should talk about work. _Or more._ Once he had a place and time, he messaged Gabriel the information. There was a nearly instant response of _ok ;)_.

Not one to let nervousness get the better of him, Jack went about getting ready. He laid out his suit, hunted down the onyx cufflinks (huh, under the bed) and silver tie-pin (on the dresser, like it should be) Gabriel let him borrow for the black suit they ripped. 

He grabbed a clean towel from the hall linen closet and checked his ensuite bathroom to make sure that he still had toiletries. The bottles of Gabriel's bodywash and shampoo that Jack nicked last time were still in his shower. He opened one to smell, and his heightened senses and intimate memories were able to conjure the familiar scent of Gabriel's warm skin under the almond fragrance of the soap. 

Jack could recall their first time like it was yesterday: a few years into SEP, Jack started using Gabriel's toiletries without asking, not thinking Gabriel would notice. The smell was a comfort as things became harder for Jack's body to process, reminding him of his bunkmate, his best friend, his helpless infatuation, and giving him a reason to endure the experiments and training. Gabriel _did_ take notice, after a week he had Jack pinned to the counter of their dormitory kitchenette and nuzzled into Jack's neck, _scenting him_. It was an awkward mess of hands and grinding, and an even more awkward mess of emotions and avoidance after. It was never unwanted, just... complicated.

Climbing in the shower, Jack washed meticulously from head to toe, basking in Gabriel's scent. His anticipation of the possibilities the evening could bring, and the long months of yearning for Gabriel's touch, coiled tightly in his belly. Jack couldn't remember the last time he touched himself, he'd been so busy with work, but he found himself rubbing one off in the shower, desperately needing the release. 

As he dried off, Jack contemplated calling off dinner and just staying in for the night, eating delivery and satisfying his skin-hunger. It was an appealing thought, but... Jack missed Gabriel, in more ways than he knew how to explain. The sex was always amazing, but Jack looked forward to just talking and laughing and making sure Gabriel was okay after long months apart. He wanted to reconnect with his best friend tonight, too, not just his lover. 

Ana was right. This _really_ was a date for him. 

He shaved, brushed his teeth, and styled his hair, hesitated only a moment before dabbing his pulse points with the cologne he knew Gabriel liked on him. He put on his suit, and though it fit well enough, he could tell when he looked in the mirror where minor alterations should've been made and knew Gabriel would spot them, too. It was too late, now.

As Jack stepped out his room, he saw Gabriel's door was now open. He peeked in to see a dry cleaning bag laying on Gabriel's bed and the door to his bathroom closed, the smell of creamy almond wafting out from the shower. Jack thought about waiting for Gabriel, but he knew seeing Gabriel sauntering naked out of that bathroom in a cloud of steam would keep him from leaving the apartment. He checked his watch and figured that he'd have enough time to walk to the restaurant, clear his head, maybe even plan his confession, if he left right then.

The air had cooled since the sunset, but not nearly enough for a coat or to discourage any of the busy pedestrians moving along the sidewalks. No matter how late it was, there always seemed to be people walking or riding through the arteries of the city, giving it life. Without the familiar uniform or sight piece, Jack blended in to become just another face in the crowd. Sure, he got a few turned heads, but he knew he cut a dashing figure with his height and build wrapped in a nice suit. The anonymity was a rare breath of fresh air with almost two decades as Overwatch's Strike-Commander under his belt. Without the reporters and photographers hovering, the bureaucrats and politicians and lawyers pushing their way to see him, Jack was struck by how quiet the world seems. Maybe a little disconnected.

Suddenly, he was Jack. Not Strike-Commander, not Morrison. Just Jack--someone he hadn't had the chance to be in a long time. Other than stolen moments of privacy, he hadn't been just Jack since his years in SEP. The span of years was startling when Jack realized he was pushing fifty years old. When was he supposed to consider retirement? What would he ever do? Would it be this quiet, this disconnected, as he felt in this moment walking among the anonymous crowd?

The restaurant was eight blocks away from the apartment, several floors up in a building overlooking Bryant Park. He still arrived earlier than his reservation, but the table was already prepared and waiting, so the hostess led him to it. It was a booth in a quiet corner with the high backs of the benches providing privacy and the full glass window providing a fantastic view of the park and library across the street. He looked over the menu as he waited for his dinner guest, casually perusing the choices for the evening and sipping at the water provided.

Just before his scheduled reservation time, Jack noticed the hostess heading his way. Behind her was a vision in bespoke gray. 

Gabriel had always been a man with impeccable tastes. Given a chance to wear his own choices over a uniform, his bold, eye-catching style turned heads. Case in point: the suit he was wearing was the current fashion out of France, and the cut of it was so flattering to Gabriel's broad shoulders and hips that Jack was more than a little jealous of the tailor that measured him. The dove gray jacket over the black button up brought Jack's eyes right to his chest, where his white tie and the lapels of his jacket had a light sheen to them. It shone faintly iridescent in the low lighting of the restaurant, seeming to make Gabriel glow. He even cleaned up with a trim, grooming his beard back to his infamous goatee, and his hair with the close buzz of an undercut around the sides and back, but giving way to longer hair left on top, long enough to curl. Long enough for Jack to get his hands into.

Jack stood out of habit of greeting dignitaries and reached for Gabriel's hand to shake. He was pleasantly surprised when Gabriel pulled him in for a hug, tight and warm, and if it went for too long, Jack didn't care. He breathed in deep, tucking his nose against Gabriel's shoulder to focus on the smell of warm skin and linens with almonds and cream and the spice of Gabriel's aftershave. It was like coming home. They both drew back slowly, hands lingering on each other's arms, like they couldn't quite let go. The stress Jack had seen in Gabriel's shoulders earlier had slipped away and the bruising exhaustion under his dark eyes was less pronounced. He looked good, whole and healthy and on his way to decompressing, and it made Jack's chest swell with relief.

"I'm glad you could make it," Jack said, a sudden knot in his throat keeping his voice in a low, breathless tone.

Gabriel's deep brown eyes were taking him in as well, the soft little half smile gracing his lips. "Glad I could, too."

They parted to seat themselves and the waitress took the opportunity to step forward and hand Gabriel a menu. Jack waved it away and ordered for them both: three of the seafood appetizers, the soup _and_ salads, the largest cuts of prime rib in the house cooked to a juicy medium, steamed and seasoned vegetables, lobster tails, baked potatoes, and a bottle of red wine. The meal would be heavy and rich, but he knew their metabolisms could more than handle it. As the waitress slipped away with the request, Jack smiled at Gabriel. "They have tiramisu for later," he said, knowing the man's sweet-tooth all too well. 

Gabriel watched him with lowered eyelids, gently stroking the hair at his chin. The sweet little smile was gone, leaving Jack feeling a little uncomfortable. Had he ordered wrong?

"Is the Strike-Commander looking for a favor?" Gabriel asked, to the point. 

Jack's heart sank. "God, no! Why would you--? No, I just. Can't I take my best guy out?”Celebrate you coming home?"

Huffing a laugh like he'd been holding it in, Gabriel's troublesome grin curled at his lips. "Best guy, huh?"

"Of course you are," Jack grumbled at being played. "And when would I ever ask a favor of you like this?"

"I know you wouldn't. If there was something you wanted from Blackwatch, you'd just ask," Gabriel said, relaxing back in his seat. He waited for the sommelier to present them with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon before he spoke again. "Ocampo and Landivar had to learn the hard way. I got a couple pretty expensive meals out of them. I think I ate my weight in sushi once before Landivar got the hint."

Landivar and Ocampo were former Under-Secretaries from terms past, the High Representative for Disarmament Affairs and the General for Safety and Security, respectively. Jack felt his jaw drop. "Shit, Gabriel. They're lucky Internal Oversight didn't get wind of that. Why didn't you tell me? What the hell did they want?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Probabilities. Legalities. They wanted advice on moves to make, and I told them they were asking the wrong guy. They should've been wining and dining you, Butterbread, not me. But I couldn't get them to understand that. Not that you'd give them anything, either. After seeing Petras in action today, I'm waiting for him to try it, too."

The sting of jealousy speared Jack through the chest. He never told Jack about them taking him out. Camille Ocampo and Rolando Landivar were gorgeous, stylish people, and _younger_ than Jack. During their terms, they weren't that far off from the level clearances needed to be a part of Gabriel's life. The fraternization policy of Overwatch didn't extend to UN officials. Either of them would have looked perfect on Gabriel's arm at a dinner or gala. 

"Did you ever eat here?" Jack asked, a sip of wine turning to ash on his tongue.

"No. Usually further away. They weren't very interested in being seen with me. Like you said, they were lucky IOS didn't find out," Gabriel said, eyes on the way the rich wine swirled in his glass. "You're the only one that ever wants to be seen with me in public."

"You're a coworker and a friend, I'm not ashamed of you." Jack tried to sound lighthearted, teasing, but his voice wavered, and he couldn't quite grin. "No booty calls?"

Gabriel's bark of laughter was sharp. "Who calls it a booty call anymore? Geezus, Jackie. If you really want to know the truth, Camille offered once, but I turned her down because she wasn't my type. I happen to like blond, blue-eyed people built like a brick shithouse. And if _anyone_ has me on speed dial for a dalliance, it's _you_."

His neck goes hot, face burning. Jack looked around to the closest tables to see if anyone was paying attention, but nobody even glanced their way.

"Come on, Butterbread," Gabriel's tone was a low and his face was soft, his smile a little wry. "No need to be shy. That's what this is, isn't it? I mean, you didn't invite Gérard."

The sinking feeling in Jack's stomach left his chest aching. Ana was wrong. _Jack_ was wrong. It was always about the convenience for Gabriel. There went Jack's _date_. "Gérard has a _wife_ that wants to see him... We're friends, Gabriel. I missed you. I just wanted to welcome you home."

They both fell silent as the appetizers were served. Jack fidgeted with settling the cloth napkin over his lap to give his hands something to do, a reason to avoid eye contact with the heartbreakingly gorgeous man across from him.

"Hey," Gabriel cleared his throat. As if he was reaching for Jack but remembered better, his laid his hand on the table midway between them. "Let's just... How 'bout we stop talking shop? Tell me. How's everyone? How are _you_?"

Jack wanted to touch his hand, lace their fingers together, even with the disappointment sitting heavy like a stone in his gut. Instead, he put his hand on the table, palm down just like Gabriel's, with less than an inch between the tips of their fingers touching. They both used their free hands to eat, and Jack kept his eyes on the space between their fingers as he started to talk. 

He told Gabriel about how Ana had difficulties with her daughter, that Fareeha has been begging for a personal tutor so she didn't have to leave Zürich, while Ana wanted her to choose between staying with her father in Canada or her aunt in Egypt to finish school. "She's already told me if she has to choose, she's going to Egypt. As soon as she has her graduate certifications, she's joining the EAF, working her way towards the credentials she'll need. She doesn't care what Ana wants, she wants to be a part of Overwatch."

"She gets it from her mother," Gabriel said on a sigh. 

"We really don't help," Jack grinned ruefully, chancing a look at Gabriel. "We've spoiled and enabled her so much. We're terrible uncles."

"We're the best uncles," Gabriel said proudly.

Jack prodded Gabriel to tell him about his off-time in Japan. Jesse took him to eat so much ramen that Gabriel was sure he'd never touch it again, but he was still found himself craving udon on the occasion. Ever the proud papa bear of Blackwatch, he puffed up a bit when he mentioned Jesse was probably ready to form his own team soon, that he'd do well on his own. "He out-smarted Gérard. He made it into a game, Jackie. I thought Lacroix was going to kill him at one point."

Genji was a worrying point for him. Having the insider information they needed, Genji was only asked to be an informant, but he willingly took his usual spot on the team. He desperately wanted revenge against his family, and it didn't sit right with Gabriel. The full cyborg shell Torbjorn fitted him with made him look more Omnic than human and allowed him to fit in better with Jesse and Gabriel on the move, but it hid Genji from them, too. His moods oscillated erratically between depression and anger and regret. Nostalgia pulled him in all directions. Gabriel had to sit him down more than once to help him find a focus. Now that the ordeal was over in Hanamura, he was hoping Genji would find some kind of closure.

“Come on," Gabriel teased. "Now you. What else is going on at home?"

Jack told Gabriel about Lena Oxton, the experimental pilot that got caught up in the Slipstream failure. Winston was the lead scientist to help stabilize her after the accident and they've entered the experimental equipment stage, so Oxton was welcomed to Watchpoint: Gibraltar.

"She wants to join now. She's got all the required credentials on paper, she just needs the experience," Jack said.

"You think she can do it?" Gabriel asked, snatching up a shrimp with his long fingers and popping it in his mouth, Jack tracking the movement with his eyes. Gabriel licked his lips and Jack looked away. 

"She's bright and intelligent. Great reflexes and makes quick decisions. She has the makings of a good agent."

"Let me know when, and I'll bring in Jesse and Genji. We'll give her a field prep course."

"You're good with them," Jack said, tapping a finger to Gabriel's. He knew Gabriel would make sure Lena would be comfortable and fully prepared to represent Overwatch in the field. Growing up an only child with no nieces or nephews, Gabriel still managed to be so good with younger people. With Fareeha, with Jesse and Genji, with Winston and Angela. Jack regretted the lost opportunities Gabriel should've had for a family, the chances he could've been an amazing father. Jack still thinks back to the Crisis, of the little girl they rescued from a Bastion massacred village in Mexico. So many orphans came through in those years that she was eventually lost in the system, lost to Jack or Gabriel finding and adopting her. Gabriel could've retired, given her a home...

Jack was lost in thought until a scallop bumped his lips. He blinked and looked to Gabriel, that soft half smile back, with a touch of concern. "Don't let it get cold," Gabriel said, coaxing him to take the bite from his fork. Jack licked his lips before closing his mouth over the bite and letting Gabriel pull the fork free, his dark eyes going half-lidded as he watched Jack's mouth.

As the soup and salad came, Gabriel talked more about being in Japan again. He watched Genji try to retake the high scores at the local arcade. He laughed at how obviously he and Jesse stood out at times, so painfully American. He talked about the cherry blossom viewings being nothing more than city-wide picnics, and the summer festivals that felt like street fairs. "You'd love it, Butterbread. Most of the food is grilled on sticks. Like your county fairs back in farmtown."

He spent an actual free afternoon by taking a trip to the Takarazuka Revue theater in Tokyo. "I made it for an actual live performance of _Elisabeth_ , Jackie," Gabriel grinned. "It wasn't my favorite troupe, but how can I complain? I finally saw _Elisabeth_! Granmami would've loved it." He went into detail over the costuming and the singing, practically glowing with his excitement. Jack couldn't look away no matter how hard he tried, so enamored with how happy, how contented he looked.

Gabriel started in on the detailed bakery and pastry work in Tokyo and how he wanted to take his mother to see it, filling the silence between them, allowing Jack a painful moment of clarity. Jack wanted this man. He wanted Gabriel and his zeal of little pleasures, his small smiles and teasing. He wanted to retire with him, move in together with Gabriel's aging mother in Los Angeles County. Gabriel could get back into the community theater, work with the youth groups. He wanted to grow old with him, see that he was happy and safe. He wanted to touch Gabriel, kiss him, hold his hands without worry of backlash. He wanted it so much.

Their entrées came and Gabriel's voice dropped off, his hand drawing back from the table. They ate in silence. 

"The silver looks good," Gabriel said to break the quiet. Jack was dumbfounded by the comment, looking up from his steak. Gabriel pointed at his own temple and gave a slow, tempting smirk. "It looks good on you. You'll be one of those hot silver foxes."

Jack blushed deeply and shook his head to wordlessly deny it, but Gabriel put his utensils down so he could reach out to touch Jack's wrist. "You're stressed, Jack, I know. But come on and talk to me. I know your head is heavy, you got it so full of things, you can't even look at me. I'm here. Please talk to me."

He opened his mouth. _I don't know how to sleep when I don't know where you are. I can't breathe when you're in pain. I find my pleasure in knowing you're pleased. I have the whole world to protect, but it's you that I find myself orbiting around. You're all I have for myself._ "... I missed you."

Gabriel frowned, worry drawing lines in his forehead. "I missed you, too..."

"I just..." _I love you._ Why was it so hard? 

"Jack...?" The concern on Gabriel's face was slipping away to weary suspicion, his eyes dropping from Jack's gaze.

"Gabriel, what we have is important to me--"

There's a flit of panic in those dark eyes before Gabriel steels himself. "Jack--

"--and I don't want lose you--" Jack needed to say it, rip off the band-aid. Get it off his chest.

Gabriel was moving, shoving, pulling at the table. "Jack, move!"

Jack looked down at the table, confused at Gabriel's reaction. His eyes caught on a dot, a red dot on his own white shirt, trying to center-up over his black tie. Jack leaned to the side and away, but he still felt the jerk and shove of the impact. The plate glass of the window shattered before Jack felt the burning, ripping pain.

The table was on its end, covering the line of sight at the window and offering a flimsy shield, the only protection at hand. Jack was pulled from the bench and onto the floor. The screams of the patrons were lost to the white noise rushing in Jack's ears. He tried to warn them away from the windows, to get back, but it was a struggle to breathe. A press against his shoulder had him crying out, keeping him down. 

With wild eyes, Jack looked for Gabriel-- _when tensions are high, look to Gabriel for the play_. He could hear him so far away. 

"... GSW to upper left torso! ... exit wound... buildings within the perimeter of Bryant...!" 

_Where...?_

"Come on, Blue... Up here... Eyes on me..."

The nickname was grounding, calming in a way Jack desperately needed. He'd never heard it outside of a locked bedroom, as secret as their trysts. The pain was still excruciating, but at least Jack's mind was beginning to clear.

Gabriel was leaning over him, he was the hand pressing him down with a reddening wad of tablecloth as a compress. There was a smear of red on his cheekbone, around his ear where he put in his comm. "That's it, Blue. Stay with me."

Jack couldn't remember the last time he'd been shot, especially without some kind of armor. Now that the edge of panic eased off, he could focus on breathing. Even so, he could feel the damage was extensive and going into shock wasn't far off.

"Paramedics and UN security are on the way," Gabriel said, trying to shift Jack into a position that he could apply pressure to the exit wound at the back of his shoulder. Jack cried out Gabriel's name as he pressed, breathless with pain. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it hurts, but I can't have you bleeding out on me."

"No... Gabriel..." Jack tried. He couldn't die here, he'd survive this, he knew, but if he didn't. If he never saw Gabriel again. "Gabriel, I... I need..."

His dark eyes are soft with concern, even as professionalism and control school his features. "It's okay, Jack. I got you... You're important to me, too, and I don't plan on losing you. Not if I can ever help it."

"Gabriel--"

The official security for the UN swarmed in, ushering the hiding, cowering patrons that still had yet to flee to the exit. The paramedics followed behind when the team found the area clear, moving in quickly to triage and stabilize Jack. As soon as they took over, Jack lost sight of Gabriel.

++++++++++

By the time Jack was being taken in for surgery, he had full control over his wits again. The enhancements that modified his body years ago helped curb the pain and started repairing the wound as soon as there was no longer a threat he'd bleed out. Still, there was shrapnel that needed removing, broken bones that needed to be pieced back together, and muscle that need to knit closed.

Jack refused everything but a local anesthetic and it took Angela, by holoscreen, to get the doctors in the OR to allow it. At that point, Angela took over directing the surgery completely, using the view of the cameras about the room, as she was flying over the Atlantic. She made it there just in time to suture and bandage Jack up herself and fit him for a stabilizer and sling he'd be wearing for the next three weeks. She also had the pain medication tailored to this physiology, which took the pain from agonizing down to just annoying.

He didn't spend long in recovery as the security team moved him along quickly to the same transport Angela arrived on, getting him to Zürich and back into the hands of Overwatch as soon as possible. Jack hoped Gabriel would join him for the flight home, or at least call to see how the surgery went, but he was met with radio silence.

Angela wanted him on rest, but there was only so much he could stand. Headlines and news reports splashed on every holoscreen across the headquarters held reminders of the incident. He wasn't allowed to leave the base without security anymore. His only option to escape was to hide in the bedroom of his quarters, but he was too restless for that. He worked at his desk as much as he could, and walked the halls when he couldn't sit any longer. He felt nervous and on edge, and not just from the pain.

It's two days before he received a priority call, and it wasn't the one he wanted.

"Good afternoon, Director Petras," Jack greeted the image on his holoscreen with as much energy and politeness he could muster.

Petras barely waited for to finish, barreling over him. "Do you make it a point to reactivate agents on leave, without their psychological review, to do your personal dirty work?"

 _What...?_ "Excuse me, Sir?"

"Commander Reyes and Agents McCree and Shimada's leave was revoked within the hour of your incident," Petra said, looking over a tablet. "Their active duty status was reinstated without the required psychological examination. They commandeered the investigation from the UN's security force. Explain."

Jack wanted to laugh. His chest warmed with the thought of Gabriel chasing down his shooter. Jack had to cough, jarring his shoulder, to force himself to keep his professionalism. "I've been off-duty due to my injury, Director. Commander Amari has been acting in my stead. Perhaps she thought--"

"Witnesses place Reyes dining with you at the time of the incident."

That gave Jack pause. "Yes. Reyes and I have known each other for years. We eat together often," he said slowly. Previous Under-Secretaries never questioned it, knowing their history of leadership from the Crisis.

Petras didn't want to take that for an answer. " _Why_ were you dining with him?"

"I see my team as family. It isn't unusual to share dinner or celebrate with them. Gabriel has always been a close friend. I invited him to dinner so we could... catch up." Jack bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself from adding, _not that it's any of your business_.

"So, the dinner had nothing to do with the fact that Reyes and the senior officers of his Blackwatch team broke protocol to undermine an investigation directly involving you?"

Jack's blood pressure spiked. "No! Of course not! Did you think I planned to have myself assassinated?"

Petras voice was smooth, even as it was accusing, "Men in power have done stranger things to keep it, Strike-Commander."

"Are you seriously suggesting--"

"Morrison!" Petras snapped, his upper lip curling in distaste, "I expect much from an organization like Overwatch. For a peacekeeping and rescue operation, you have your thumbs in a great many pies. While I can understand the need for a black ops unit, the fact that they answer to your every beck and call--"

"Sir, they do not!" Jack tried protesting.

"--is a serious abuse of power! I expect a certain amount of professionalism and the amount of blatant fraternization has me questioning your abilities to lead!"

Jack paled. He couldn't possibly know...

"I have my eye on you, Strike-Commander. I will be watching you and your Blackwatch very carefully. I ask that you don't give me a reason to contact Internal Oversight Services."

As the holoscreen disconnected and his grew silent, Jack felt sick to his stomach.

++++++++++

Jack was nursing a stress headache and a cup of tea later when there was a knock on the door of his private quarters. He was expecting Ana or Angela, but was surprised to see Gabriel instead.

If Gabriel looked tired in his debrief with Gérard at the UN headquarters a few days ago, he looked utterly exhausted now. He must've just arrived, not taken the time to change from his tactical uniform, but at least he dropped off all the gear, leaving him in his beanie, compression shirt, and pants. He carried a small box in his hands, holding it like a smuggled treasure.

He was the most beautiful thing Jack had ever seen at that moment; his best friend, his lover, his lifesaver. Yet, Jack's chest ached at the sight of him, Petras' threat still ringing in his ears.

"Had a debrief with Ana. There's a report waiting on your desk. How's the shoulder?" Gabriel asked, welcoming himself into Jack's living space, leaning against the table where Jack sat.

With a shrug of his good shoulder, Jack shook his head. "Doc says I'll live."

"Oh, great," said Gabriel, putting the box down by Jack's tea. "I guess I have to share this, then. Open it."

It was easy enough to do with one hand, working at the tabbed flap and opening the side of the box. He pulled the fogged dome of a familiar bakery container out and popped the lid. "Tiramisu," Jack said, choking on a small laugh. Gabriel had his mother mail him tiramisu, all the way from her bakery in Los Angeles.

"Mom saw the news, says get well soon," Gabriel smiled, the soft little half turn of his lips.

Jack's throat felt tight. "You pay the bill, too?"

Gabriel looked to the floor, his expression sheepish. "Maybe..."

Jack couldn't breathe. He had to give this up, give up Gabriel for Overwatch. The one selfish thing Jack had for himself. "Dammit, Gabriel, you didn't have to. I'm sorry--"

"Hey." Gabriel knelt down beside Jack's chair, taking his hand. "It's not your fault someone decided they needed to take your life. I didn't have to do anything. But I _wanted_ to. For you."

Internal Oversight would expose all the skeletons Overwatch had to the public. Jack needed to stop this now, while he still could. "Gabriel..."

Gentle, callused fingers touched Jack's chin, turning his face to Gabriel's. "Your head is still full, Butterbread. Talk to me... You okay?"

_We have stop. This is getting dangerous._

_It's us or Overwatch._

_... I love you._

"I'm okay. Everything's fine."


End file.
